How to help your child with Aspergers survive the holiday season

This is an article designed to help parents of children
who have Aspergers through the holiday seasons.
We all have fond memories of our own childhood,
when we looked forward to putting up the decorations,
eating mouth watering meals and receiving all those longed
for presents at Halloween, Thanksgiving or Christmas.
As parents we naturally want our children to enjoy it all
and have as much fun as we did so we talk, anticipate
and prepare with mounting excitement as the celebrations
draw nearer. However for those families who are raising
a child with Aspergers syndrome it all adds up to an
almighty headache! Children with Aspergers Syndrome
have a real hard time coping with all of these celebrations
and if they have their birthday on top of that… well you may
as well pack up and go away until Spring!

Anticipation for a child with Aspergers Syndrome leads to
increased levels of anxiety which they cannot control. They
become overloaded and then you have a massive meltdown
at the time when you are all supposed to be enjoying and
celebrating the season of peace and goodwill! The party will
be ruined and everybody upset, especially your child who is
trying so hard to fit in and be like everybody else. So how
can you achieve the impossible and enjoy the season while
at the same time keeping your Aspergers child calm and
behaving appropriately?

The first simple step to take is to simply reduce the time talking
about the festive occasion. Remember he /she cannot easily
control their emotions and to chatter constantly about the
event will simply lead to stress and anxiety. It is useful to
enlist the help of others in your home in this and keep any
conversations to a minimum while your Aspergers child is around.
Another great strategy to help is to keep any physical changes
to your home to the minimum, so by all means decorate, put
up cards and a tree but just don’t make a big fuss about it all.
A good tip is to not put out any presents until the day they are
to be opened as your Aspergers child will have a hard time
keeping their hands off and will became anxious and potentially
oppositional.

Although it’s important not to overload your child it is equally
important to explain any changes to their routines. So
prepare your child for any changes by calmly telling them the day
before what will be happening. Visual supports always work well
so use photos or simple pictures to explain what will be happening.
It is also important to explain to your child what is expected of
them, e.g. to say ‘hello how are you” to guests and sit at the
table to share the meal. Your child will also need to be given
permission to leave the festivities and you can rehearse this
together with some simple role play. This is really important as
it gives your child an exit strategy and also allows them to get
through the celebrations without going into meltdown.
Additionally if you see that he/she is becoming distressed you
can also activate the exit cue so your child gets out before the
situation deteriorates. Following these simple steps should lead
to a much more positive experience for everyone and will
provide your Aspergers child with the love, support, reassurance
and above all confidence to participate fully in these wonderful
occasions.

So to summarize briefly it is important to keep preparations
and discussions around the holidays to a minimum when the
child with Aspergers is around. Preparing them as to what
will be expected of them at this time, as well as incorporating
an exit strategy, will help further. Good luck!

Copyright © 2007 Dave Angel