How to help your child with Aspergers fit in and make friends

This article is written for parents who have a child with
Aspergers in order to help them to support their child to
make friends with their peers and find a social network.
Your child has Aspergers, but that does not mean that
your child is intellectually limited. In fact more than likely
it is the complete opposite. Children with AS often are
very intelligent, which can make life even more challenging!
Your child will understand if they are left out of games,
parties, and other social events. They are not intellectually
challenged, but they could be considered to be socially
challenged. Your child wants to fit in with peers and friends
both at school and in the local neighbourhood. But it is likely
that he or she does not know how to go about doing this.

Role-play activities, in natural settings, may assist your
child in developing the social skills that he or she will
need. This could include role-playing scenarios such as
how to join in playground games, how to converse with
class mates, what is expected in group settings etc.
Providing them with a way to meet the special needs
that they have may also be helpful. Special needs may
include sensory integration techniques (of which I will
mention more below), designed to reduce their anxiety.
Anxiety among children with AS is common, usually
because they cannot adapt to the stressors they
experience. Most common among those stressors are
transitional periods (such as going from school to home
– which I will detail below).

During transitional periods, it is best to let your child
fulfil their sensory needs, which may include obsessing
about certain preferred items or activities. An alternative
may include providing them with calming activities, such
as massage, deep therapeutic touch or wrestling if that
is their preferred activity. The trick is to find what makes
them calm down, and then do it. What makes your child
calm may be completely different than what calms another
child, but that’s okay. Difference is inevitable and as far as
I am concerned diversity should always be welcomed.

The transition to school and home again can be especially
difficult. Work with your child’s school to develop a
method that works well at both ends. Social activities
are important for all children whether they have special
needs or not. Therefore it will be critical for you to work
out what makes your child socially acceptable and methods
to teach them what they lack. Part of this challenge will be
providing them opportunities to interact with other people
where they will succeed rather than placing them in circles
where they are not likely to succeed. For example is there a
local scout group, sports group, church group or youth club
that is led by someone who could be sympathetic and
supportive of your child’s needs? Often they will be happy to
help you and your child with the right guidance. So in that
situation you need to be a good advocate for your son and
also an “Aspergers expert” to teach the leader and others
that run the group about your son’s needs.

So to summarize this article it is essential that children
with Aspergers are given the chance to build social
networks and friendships. The challenge is that they
do not have all the skills to do this. So it is important
for the parent to teach their child through role play and
other techniques these particular skills. Then the parent
should also look for social activities for their son or
daughter that will be a positive and supportive experience
for them.

Copyright © 2007 Dave Angel