How to cope with your child’s initial diagnosis of
Aspergers

This article is written to help parents who have had
a recent diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome given to their
child. Often with such a diagnosis a grieving process will
begin for many parents. This is a grieving process for
the “perfect” child and “perfect” life that you were dreaming
of. This is a perfectly natural and understandable process.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t love your child or think
anything negatively about them. It’s just that your child
is different to what you expected. Now just look at that
word “different”; the dictionary definition is “differing from
all others” and so it’s really not so bad. So it’s not really
a good thing or a bad thing, just a different thing. A really
great way of looking at this is in the short story by Emily
Perl Kingsley which you can read at
www.aboutautism.org.uk/holland.htm

On more practical terms once you get such a diagnosis
you will need to arm yourself with all the knowledge you
can find! If you are not fluent in searching the internet,
or don’t have access to the internet, then check your local
library and practice. The internet has a vast amount of
information for you about the diagnosis, helpful tips,
support groups and almost anything else you can think of.
There is much to learn about any special needs your child
may have, and the more you know the better prepared you
are to help your child.

Your local school should have information as well,
however, AS is a relatively new diagnosis and there is
still much to learn about this condition. Develop a plan
and be prepared to alter it as you go. Another important
thing to do is to get intervention early. That intervention
may come in the form of psychologists, occupational
therapists (for sensory integration), support
groups, and education specialists, to mention a few.
Another key role that you need to take on is to become
your child’s advocate! No one will care as much as you
do about making sure your child has everything and
everyone involved in his or her life as you do.

For all children with Aspergers school will be a significant
part of their life. This is both in terms of how long they
physically spend there each week and also the influence
and impact of school. It is essential that you work with
your local school. The school have their own priorities and
needs that they need to meet. The best thing to do is go
into school and meet with them to determine what the
best course of action is for your child. This is a huge subject
but one of the things to consider is coping strategies
if your child displays difficult behaviors. Another area is
“trigger” factors that may cause these behaviors (e.g.
sensory stimulation, busy classrooms, not understanding
a situation). The specific learning needs of your child
(for example the tendency of Aspergers children to be
unable to understand the subtleties of language and
generally need things explained in “black and white”)
is another important discussion point. It is important
to recognize that the school have other children to serve
as well. Even though your child is your priority, they
have others to educate and take care of as well.
Find out if there are ways that you can assist them in
serving your child (for example through giving them
Aspergers information, being in regular contact, working
on certain issues at home with your child).

To briefly summarise this article; the initial diagnosis of
Aspergers for most parents comes as a big shock. There
can often be a grieving or “blaming” process that parents
need to work through. It is also essential for parents to
quickly learn about Aspergers which can be done cheaply
and effectively through the internet. A number of
professionals can often be helpful to both the child and
family. In particular the child’s school has a significant part
to play. So it is important as a parent to work on a good
relationship with the school.

Copyright © 2007 Dave Angel