How to understand and cope with the behaviors of your
Aspergers child

This article looks at one of the most important areas for
parents with a child who has Aspergers, which is behavior.
Every parent loves their child, as they should. But, you
need to be as objective about his or her behaviour as you
can. In order to best support your child through the day
to day problems that may arise it is important to try to
have this impartial focus on their behaviors. What may
seem odd to you, may be extremely annoying or even
reason for retaliation to someone else (although this
retaliation is not justified). So you need to do what you
can to help your child to cope better in society, and vice
versa for those in society to cope better with your child.
Similarly you need to equip them as best you can for their
classroom, and their neighborhood.

This is not about making your child a robot or taking away
their identity, but basic survival at times. I truly believe that
each child is individual and that not two children with
Aspergers are ever identical. However there are certain
approaches and techniques that have been seen to be
helpful both in research and in everyday living for children
with Aspergers. Assessing your child’s behavior, in different
situations, will prepare you to deal with difficult times, and
help your child to do the same. For example your child may
have difficulty communicating with you or with others.
They may have difficulty following societal rules. Another
example is that your child may have difficulty adjusting to
changes that occur with the daily routine. Your child may
also have difficulty adjusting to environmental
changes, whether they include the rearranging of furniture
or new people.

You will need to assess each of these situations and any
others that you encounter and develop a plan that enables
your child to adjust. One way of doing this may include
role-play of social situations. This may include a well-developed
plan that provides your child with a way out, or a way to deal
with situations that are overwhelming. An example for this
may be that your child may get overwhelmed by too many
people or too much noise in a certain situations. So the obvious
answer for them is to temporarily get out of the situation. Their
approach to do this may include just running or pushing their way
physically out of the situation. So role play could help them to
practice saying a set few words to the teacher like “I need time out”
or if interaction may be too hard for them at this point – they
could hold up a card with the words on them. Obviously it is
essential too to get the teacher on board and agreement with the
approach for it to work.

The bottom line is that your child will really struggle to meet the
demands of change, or the demands of society. So you will need
to help them by providing a buffer zone. That may include changing
your routine, providing an outlet for them, or teaching others how
to communicate better with your child. Meet with your child’s
teacher and discuss behavior and try to establish a method that
will work well at home and in the school (as outlined above).
The more consistently you can deal with your child the more
of an impact it will have on them, and their ability to be
productive in school.

To briefly summarise this article it is essential for the parent
of a child with Aspergers to help them by offering practical
help in dealing with social situations. This first involves the
parent assessing their child in a variety of different social
situations and then using techniques (like Role Play and
involving significant others such as teachers) to help them
to learn and understand better ways to get through these
situations.

Copyright © 2007 Dave Angel